Last Night

I crawled into bed like normal, Shem waiting making the bed warm for me, and snuggled close to him.  We, I mean, I normally talk like crazy before falling asleep, but last night I actually was stuck in my own thoughts for a few moments before I had to share them with him.  I finally realized something so true about myself and apparently Shem has known this about me for a long time because he totally agreed.  So, in an effort to rid myself of this fault so that I can be my best self I'm telling the world...well, the couple of you who stop by here.  Maybe someone else out there is just like me and could benefit from this?  Who knows.

Well, here it is.  I hate being told what to do.  This trait has seemed to grow over the past few years to the point where Shem can't tell me how I'm feeling because I get frustrated with him telling me how I feel, and I tend to complain a lot about rules these days.  This seems so weird to me because growing up I was such a rule follower, and now me hating being told what to do is keeping me from reaching some of my goals.  One of which is still to lose the 10 extra pounds of baby weight and then the extra 10 of marriage/graduation- from-college-weight.  I start following these meal plans, and then I get so mad at them because they don't let me eat what I want and then I give up and eat a whole bunch of marshmallows or something dumb.  I rarely have sugar in the house, but I always find a way to eat too much of something to the point of turning it into junk.  Why do I hate following a diet???  My own brain isn't letting me reach my goals...that stinks.  I wish I could turn it off for a few days and just be.  Maybe then I could get past my brain.  Ha ha!

Anyway, isn't that weird?  In other news I have been thinking about some things to post.  Mostly just thoughts on where I am in my life.  Lately we've been trying to get pregnant again and have been off birth control for a year now and still no luck.  I'm starting to worry a bit and started to track my ovulation which, according to the LH surge predictor kit, I am not.  At least last cycle.  I finally went to see the midwife yesterday and was told to keep testing and trying until January.  If nothing by then I will go back and we'll check things out on the ultrasound and do some tests.  If needed go on Clomid.  It's so weird to have it be so hard to get pregnant a second time when we got pregnant with Asher.  Granted, we had two miscarriages before him, but we still got pregnant.  It seems like everyone around me is pregnant again and I'm ready for another baby.  This time around I can handle the emotions that come with trying without success, which is such a blessing.  Asher truly is a huge blessing to me and brings much joy into our home.

Time to go...his show just ended.  That was a nice 20 mins of me time! :)  

18 months

I'm avoiding the mounds of laundry that need folding, asked Shem to make dinner tonight, and decided to bake some whole wheat bread and blog.

I feel like there has been a lot going on around here, but I never get up here (here being in my room away from the little one) to type about our awesome lives. :)  Yes, my life is awesome.  

Asher is now 18 months and I feel like we've hit a sweet spot as he is so much fun to have around now.  He is finally starting to repeat what Mom and Dad say and it's so cute.  He has stopped calling me, "Mom! Mom! Mom!", and now lovingly calls me "Mommy" when he wants me.  I kind of love it.  Whenever he sees a photo of Dad he always says, "Daddy" or "Dada".  I still don't exist in photos, but at least I exist in real life to him.  Haha!  

He eats like a crazy man too.  He must be growing, but I wouldn't know since I still haven't scheduled his 18 month appointment.  Anyway, he ate cucumbers with breakfast yesterday, and fish for dinner, and loves carrots.  Pretty much will eat anything that isn't slimy.  I love that he eats and feel like my hard work in providing a variety of food for him to eat is paying off.  No chicken nuggets here because this kid will eat a whole chicken breast if I let him!  

He has started going to nursery at church and was doing wonderfully until 3 weeks ago when he decided that he'd rather scream and cry if Dad left him there.  Shem or I have to be in there with him and if we leave if figures it out pretty quickly.  Although it's kind of a step backwards for him to be so attached to us, he has become super cuddly lately!  We love it!  He has never been like this before and it melts ours hearts when he rests his head on our shoulders and squeezes them several times as he snuggles as close as we can to us.  He  has also developed the crazy talent of attaching himself to us and even if we let go he somehow still hangs on.  Very interesting.

He frequently plays with cars, action figures, blocks, and the iPad   He loves to watch a "go" (show) and if I let him I think he'd sit like a zombie in front of the TV all day long.

He seems to comprehend the world around him.  He will get his shoes, coat, throw diapers down the stairs, get a new diaper, try to open the front door, and he now knows how to frazzle the dishwasher.  We don't like that very much.

 He loves little books and has claimed my Hymn book in Portuguese as his own. :)